Horny Grouse Looking for Hot Chick

We were on one of our urban hikes around Toronto, when we came across a Tlinget dance group. The Tlingets are an indigenous native tribe that lives in the Alaskan Panhandle, Northern B.C. and the Southern Yukon. They claim to have 10,000 years of history in their songs and dances and today, the men in the audience were invited up on the stage to take part in the Grouse Dance. 

 

 

 

As it was explained, the male grouse performs a very complex dance to show off all his stuff with the hope to attract a mate. The Tlinget captured these movements in to the Grouse Dance or as the younger Tlinget’s call it, “Horny Grouse Looking for Hot Chick”.  We celebrated our 40^th wedding anniversary this year so a unique renewal of our vows seems appropriate.

  

The dance involved getting your body, low to the ground with one hand shaped like a beak held in front of your face, while the other hand is held behind your butt and splayed to look like tail feathers. 

 

 

The dance had you first threatening other grouse away with your beak then shaking your booty to attract a mate.

 

 

 

The dance had barely begun when I sensed a change in the force. It seemed one of the Tlinget dancers was shaking his tail feathers at my wife.

 

 

  

 

 

 

I had to act quickly before this whole renewal of vows went terribly wrong.

 

 

 

 

Jumping, beak first off the stage, I faced my adversary down.

It must have be the immense size of my beak for that grouse scurried off with his tail feathers between his legs.  

And as in every fairy tale story, she said yes. Again

 I still got feathers.

How Sweet It Is!

A few weeks ago, we received an interesting and rather enticing invitation in the mail, from one of our neighbours. It was a totally unexpected invitation as we hardly know them.  We weren’t in the front door but a moment before they introduced us to the reason we were invited, an extremely addictive white powder.

  

Their place is located on Lake Ontario and I would walk by it each day on my way to and from work. I guess it should not have come as any surprise as they have been in the business of pushing this stuff to Canadians since 1852. Located about a soft 3 iron shot from our balcony, The Redpath Sugar cartel, whoops, Company has been located on the Lake since 1959.

 Given the bad press, sugar has been receiving lately, Redpath decided to reach out to their customers. As a huge user, whoops, consumer, the “open house” was an offerI could not refuse.

Sweet poison: why sugar is ruining our health (Article: The Telegraph)

Is Sugar Toxic? (Article: New York Times)

Sweet poison: How sugar, not cocaine, is one of the most addictive and dangerous substances. (Article:  New York Daily News)

Dr. Phil ‘Sugar: A Ticking Time Bomb’ (Article: National Enquirer)

I have not read the above articles as I am sure they are written by those same doomsday types who claim that the glycol contained in ice cream is bad for you or that scrumptious yellow food colouring used in KD causes cancer. I mean really, do you really want to eat white, pasty pasta.

Upon arrival at the main gate, we were met by our pusher, whoops, guide who was very helpful in assuring we knew where to go and what to see.  First on the tour was a 15 minute video.  The older folks were asked to sit at the back, while the prime seating up front was reserved for the kids. It is a well-known, fact that if you catch them young, they will become lifelong users, whoops, consumers of your product.

The product arrives to the plant from their grow ops, whoops, cane fields in cargo ships. Using a large bucket crane, they empty the hold into a hopper which transports the sugar into a huge arena sized warehouse.

From the warehouse, a huge bucket excavator loads the sugar onto a huge conveyor belt where it is carried into the warehouse and processed into a multitude of products.

Photo: Jackman Chiu

 Raw sugar is brown but the sugar arriving to Redpath has already been processed, so it is white. They actually reverse process it in the plant, to produce, molasses and the brown sugars you see on the store shelves.

It was a fun and interesting tour, especially the free samples of sugary little cookie shooters that did not make it to the exit gate. Thanks Redpath, very neighbourly of you. You can count on me to continue to be a prolific user, whoops, consumer of your goods, no matter what they say.

Gimme me some sugar, Baby!

Sugar Beach next to Redpath.  Sadly cannot be seen from our condo.

Photo: asla.org

40 Years, 400 Years

Slightly more than 40 years ago, I was informed that I should really re-consider whether I should marry the women who I had known only for about 18 months. It seems, that based on several personality tests that we had both taken, the minister found us completely incompatible and suggested that we re-think our plans.Thankfully we both ignored the warnings and here we are 40 years later still ignoring that advice.

 Personally, I think it was those  differences that provided us with the skills to last for 40 years. We haven't changed, we are still the same but somehow we have woven those differences into our life and made them work. That along with my personal motto, "Happy Wife, Happy Life" was the glue that got us to this moment.

La Ville de Quebec seemed like the perfect place to spend our anniversary. A city with 400 years
of history to celebrate our 40 years of history.

Vieux (Old) Quebec City was founded by Samuel de Champlain in 1608. He is known as the "Father of New France" but only till 1760 when the British moved in.

The streets are narrow, with a definite "Old France" feel about them.

The site still retains its original fortifications and gates. Keeping those hordes of invading tourists  from the Hilton in check.

Our deluxe room with all the modern trappings was housed in a 200 year old building.

A youngster compared to the house where our celebratory restaurant was located.

It has been a restaurant for 40 years but the house is 338 years old.

Vieux Quebec is located right on the St. Lawrence River. March 29th and the ice was just starting to breakup. It has been a long winter.

Vieux Quebec much like it's sister Vieux Ville's around the world has been filled with souvenir shops and Starbucks and  of course it's Canada, so a Tim Horton's but if you look hard enough, you can still find the perfect place to sip a special coffee and watch the other tourists wander around.



Here's to the next 40 years. Stay tuned.

 

Papa's Got a Brand New Bag

Come here sister, Papa's in the swing
He ain't too hip about that new breed babe
He ain't no drag
Papa's got a brand new bag
Special Thanks to James Brown - Papa's Got A Brand New Bag Lyrics

If all is right with the world, a grandchild should have two grandfathers and two grandmothers. Better to spread the word about their marvelous abilities and winning personalities. I sadly, never knew my grandfathers, something that I feel has left a void somewhere in my psyche.  Thankfully our brilliant grandchildren have two of each gender but with that comes a small dilemma, "what to call them". Our brilliant grandchildren solved this dilemma in a very brilliant manner. I am "Computer Papa".

The computer tag came about because since our grandchildren were born, they have seen us more on Skype then in real life. This comes from the fact, that we have either lived at the other end of the country or the other side of the world. But that is about to change, cuz Papa's got a brand new bag and that bag is taking him and Computer Grandma to the centre of the Canadian universe.

He's doing the Jerk
He's doing the Fly
Don't play him cheap 'cause you know he ain't shy
He's doing the Monkey, the Mashed Potatoes, Jump back Jack, See you later
Alligator
 

For you non-Canadians, the centre of the Canadian universe is located in Toronto, Ontario. It is Canada's largest urban centre with a population of over 6,000,000 and will be the host to over 7,000 athletes attending the 2015 Pan/Parapan American Games, which is my brand new bag. Thanks to my Olympic experience, I have landed a position in the Games Village and the opportunity of being only 4 hours instead of 4,000 kilometres away from our grandchildren.

Come here sister
Papa's in the swing
He ain't too hip now
But I can dig that new breed babe
He ain't no drag
He's got a brand new bag

I arrived in the big smoke at the beginning of November, leaving Computer Grandma behind. First goal was to find a home for the next year that would meet her long list of must haves. Mission accomplished. Our home is on the 36th floor with a killer view of the city and Lake Ontario and it requires only a 10 minute walk along the lake to get to work.



Everything we need is no more than a 15 minute walk away with entertainment options that will keep us a busy as our budgets will allow.

 

Oh papa! He's doing the Jerk
Papa he's doing the Jerk

He's doing the twist just like this
He's doing the Fly ev'ry day and ev'ry night
The thing's like the Boomerang

 

We have already seen more of our grandchildren in the last two months than we have in the last year. A scenario we hope to repeat over the next 12 months. Even better, they are scheduled to move to Toronto in the summer while our son attends university here. Now, I just have to ensure the job does not become completely consuming. Hopefully, my Olympic experience will make the transition from wines to games easier. Don't have to reinvent the wheel just put new tires on it.


 

Hey come on
Hey! Hey .come on
Hey! Hey he's pu tight out of sight
Come on. Hey! Hey

So stay tuned for lots of brilliant stories and amusing pictures of our grandchildren along with fabulous pictures of our newest grandchild. Sadly, she lives at the opposite end of world and will for the foreseeable future only get to know us on Skype and we will become her "Computer Zufumu"

Tri•ath•lon / trīˈaTHlən

Noun: -an athletic contest consisting of three different events, typically swimming, cycling, and running.
(Poster by David Connaughton)

 

Moving to the Okanagan in 1986, I was first introduced to the sport of triathlon as it was just starting to evolve in the Valley. It seemed interesting but as I had just begun running, adding two other activities wasn’t in the cards with young kids, a new job and lungs that had just quit smoking. 

It was twenty-two years, before I found the time to try a triathlon.  It was kind of hard not to as Penticton was home to two well-known triathlon races, the Peach Classic and the venerable Ironman Canada. So in 2008, to celebrate my retirement, I entered the Peach Classic Triathlon.  Then again in 2012 I completed a Half Ironman and to celebrate my 60^th birthday completed Ironman. See blog of August 2012.



Flash forward to the fall of 2013 and while Skyping with our JGD (Japanese Granddaughter), I learned she had been swimming and running pretty regularly.

So with a little encouragement I convinced her to add some biking and come to Penticton in the summer of 2014 and complete in the Penticton Peach Classic sprint division.


I will be frank, I didn’t really think she would follow through, but I sadly under estimated that tough little Japanese girl.

She came, she saw, she conquered.

She arrived in Vancouver a week before the race. We picked her up from the airport and drove straight back to Penticton the same day.

The next morning found her standing on the shores of Okanagan Lake ready to take her first swim. The summer had been warm and the lake was a perfect temperature. It was at that point I learned that she had never swum in a lake before.



 

Next day saw her ride up the 4 kilometre long hill that she would face at the start of the bike portion of the race.  The hill can suck the confidence right out of your legs if you let it. Mounted on Nonie’s 10 year old mountain bike, I had my doubts she could pull it off. I was proven wrong as she powered herself up the hill.

Day three was a quick 5 kilometer run along the run course which included a 1 kilometer portion of the hill used in the bike leg.  All during the run I kept explaining that she would need to do all three of these disciplines during the race.

Every good athlete spends the night before the race getting their bodies ready for the challenges of the next day. We were treated to a fabulous feed of Chuanr by Tom and Aileen, friends from China who came all the way down from Edmonton to cheer us on. Chuanr are fatty little bits of meat cooked on skewers over a barbecue. (See blog of April 2011 for more about Chuanr) 

With fatty bits of meat coursing through my veins (Takae is a vegetarian), we were ready rumble. Painting the numbers on our arms took the rest of the night.

Race day, the weather was perfect, slightly cloudy with no wind and the lake was as calm as glass. We were up a 5:30 am to prepare.  We only live a few blocks from the starting line so our warm up consisted of walking our bikes down to the transition area. 

Then laying out the various bits and pieces that are need when you have to swim, bike run, towel, helmet, shoes, socks, hat and sun screen.



 

The start of the swim can be a scary place with the triathletes all jockeying for position. There is lots of thrashing and splashing about.  The plan was to hold Takae back till all the athletes had moved out and she would not get caught up in that maelstrom. I had told he to “wait till I say GO” before she started her swim. Just as the gun sounded, I repeated my initial warning, “wait till I say GO”.  All Takae heard was GO and she charged out into the pack. She became a little over whelmed by the crowd and a little panic set in.  

 

But with some calming words from a kindly kayaker she was back on track and we poured out of the lake ready for the bike


 

My intent was to follow behind her and keep her on track with my pearls of triathlete wisdom and intelligent words of encouragement but at the bottom of the hill, the gritty little Japanese girl dropped the hammer on me and left me in her dust leaving me speechless which was good because I didn’t have any breath left for pearls of wisdom.

As I was arriving to the transition area, I passed her as she was headed up the hill on the run. In my mind, I was saying “No problem”, I’ll catch her on the run and use up those pearls of wisdom. NOT!

 

Tri·ath·lete  trīˈaTH let
Noun: - one who competes in a triathlon

It took 2 hours and 1 minute for our newest triathlete to complete the course.  I think she will be back.

 

At least I hope so and this time I won't under estimate her. 

Through the Eyes of Another

We moved to the Okanagan in 1986. For those of you who are mathematically challenged, that was 28 years ago. As a family, we had been spending every summer vacationing here, so it was a no brainer to move here when the opportunity came up. For the next 15 years or so, we explored and enjoyed every inch of the Valley.

But as the kids grew up and moved on and the JOB became an obsession, I lost my way.

After 15 years, it is easy to become jaded about what you have and began to take it for granted. No need to rush out and do and see things as those things aren’t going anywhere, we’ll do it tomorrow. Then tomorrow becomes next week, then next month and the cycle begins again and again and again and continues for the next six years forgetting what brought us to the Okanagan.

 

Retirement was going to bring me back and give me the time to rediscover my direction. My barista gig at the Hogs Breath fell through and next thing I know we were spending the next 6 years, somewhere else.  That somewhere else was pretty fantastic so it was easy to forget what we had left behind.

So it was with excitement that we looked forward to a visit from one of our extended Chinese family. Takae or JGD (Japanese Granddaughter) as she is affectionately known was coming to Penticton. The decision was made last year when I challenged her to join me and train for, then come to Penticton to complete the Peach Classic sprint triathlon.  More on that in another blog.

But what iced the cake for us was the chance to show off our Valley.  

 

Seeing the valley through her eyes, reminded us of what we have and how easy it is to access it all.

 

When she wasn’t training, we filled her days with all the Okanagan has to offer.

When we parted company after nearly three weeks, we had only touched a small portion of what we have come to take for granted. 

 

We are leaving again so I have written this blog to act as a reminder to me of what we have here and to take advantage of it while we are here.










 

We ended Takae's visit with a bike ride on the Kettle Valley Trail, a 400 kilometre ride through the mountains and valleys of Southern B.C. and it passes right by our house. Perhaps we will only tackle 40 k’s of it today then go wine tasting for the rest of the afternoon.  There is always tomorrow.

Brett’s Got a JOB :)

Apologies to all my readers, all two of you but a darn job got in the way. My retirement plan has always included some sort of part time work.  The original plan was to work a bit to help the pension go a little further and feed our desire for travel. Find below, my very first posting on February 3, 2008 where I laid out my retirement plans for all to see/read.                                                 


Five Months To Go 

When I picked our (my) retirement date ten years ago, it was a simple decision, June 30, 2008. Actually I picked June 31 but that date was going to be a bit of a problem. I was still 55 but turned 56 the next day. Freedom 55!

But as we (I) get closer (five months) the decision has taken on complexities that were not realized ten years ago. Will we have enough to live on? Good question. What does it take per month? (I have put the current 2014 costs in brackets)

Rent/Mortgage/Strata Fees $220                   ($250)              
Taxes $125                                                       ($110)
Utilities $ 80                                                     ($45)
Insurance $ 50                                                 ($60)
Telephone $ 60                                                ($80)
Cable $ 70                                                        ($110)
Vehicle $200                                                     ($150)
Medical Plan $120                                            ($120)
Food/Incidentals $420                                      ($500)
Entertainment $400                                          ($400)                                      
Miscellaneous $100                                          ($150)
Total $1845

Travel $ 700
Golf $ 200
Hobbies $ 100
Contingency $ 155
Total with a Life $3000

Have I forgotten anything. If I have, then let me know. Too often I hear, I won't have enough money to live. I always ignored those statements, but as the day draws near, it takes on a greater importance. Well the verdict is in and we (I) will have to continue to work a little bit after June 30, 2008.

Not a problem as the plan was always to work a little bit. My dream job was to become a barista at the Hogs Breath Coffee Company. They sold out to Starbucks. Not sure I'm a corporate coffee guy so the plan is now to be the go to guy at Canadian Tire but only if it is low stress.

What ever happens, we will be fine so bring it on! June 30, 2008 here we (I) come.

Well, I didn’t become the go to guy at Canadian Tire but I did find plenty of interesting ways to supplement the pension while still having the opportunity to see the world. Six years have passed since R Day and the need or perhaps the desire to continue to work has found me working in a Winery. Not a job that was on my radar in 2008.  

The initial job description was to work in the wine shop and schlep wines to visitors while waxing eloquently on the bouquet, nose, colour, yada yada yada. Actually it is a lot like teaching English, but replacing “weakened form” with “toasted oak”.

But the job has slowly morphed into something different, something that kind of resembles my old JOB. You know; the stressful, 24/7 one I retired from. Some of you are probably saying ‘what took you so long”, while others of you are saying “give your head a shake, Brett”.  So after giving my head a shake, I have come to accept that “you can take the boy out of the job, but you can’t take the job out of the boy”.

Thankfully, over the last six years, my outlook to work has taken a decided shift in my approach to the JOB. The JOB no longer consumes me, I only embrace it. I still have the desire to deliver 100 percent but on my schedule, not someone else’s. Wish I had taken this approach 30 years ago. But then, I may have had to revise my retirement schedule.

No regrets, so for the next 2 or 3 years, I will be on the lookout for JOBS that I can embrace while leaving plenty of time to enjoy retirement. So if you hear of anything, don’t hesitate to drop me a line.

I should put a plug in here, for my latest JOB so drop into Perseus Wines. See the web address below. I get a staff discount of 30% on all wine purchases and the coffee breaks are pretty sweet.  

http://perseuswinery.com/